Pattern Interrupted


We are coming into the fall harvest, a time of abundance and gratitude for all the sustenance we need to thrive. We celebrate Thanksgiving. We gather and share a special meal and good times. We can be great hosts and share our bounty with our family, our community. This is a great time to ask the question: How am I celebrating myself? How am I taking care of myself?

I’m going to make an assumption about you and I bet I’d be right for a huge number of you. I bet you work hard. Furthering the bet, I’d say that although you work hard, you feel like you should be working harder or doing more or doing it all better. There isn’t enough time in the day or in the week to get everything done and always a lack of help or support. Sound familiar?

And that doesn’t sound so abundant or bountiful, does it? Whether we want to admit it or not, we are surrounded by abundance all the time. This is true. Everything you want is available to you, you just can’t see it.

Why can’t you see it?

Because you were taught to live in scarcity and lack by our society. “No blame on you, Society!” (although I can want to blame and remove myself from society when I feel trapped by my to-do list from hell). Scarce mentality is just how it is at this time in history and it’s been this way for eons. So what do we do about this scarcity in a time of abundance? The first thing is to have a conversation with yourself…a secret conversation. Give yourself permission to think the things that you wouldn’t normally share, yet are alive in your heart and mind and body. Most likely they are smaller things that are available to you. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to sew? Or perhaps you’ve been too afraid to call up an old friend or relative and make peace. In this scenario, you won’t even admit to yourself that you want to talk to that loved one because you imagine them rejecting you and so you try to hide the desire and focus on getting things done and being busy.

The endless to-do list is a ruse; a trick. It acts as a shield to cover up what poet, Mary Oliver, beautifully proposes to us instead: let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Do you think you can truly find freedom from your to-do list? No, deep down you don’t. That’s what most of my clients hire me for; they want to put down the mundane distractions and pick up what really fills their hearts with joy.

One of the ways I do this is in my life is by reviving my incredible style that, long ago, I had stripped away to be accepted and “safe” by my world. So I throw some wild, colourful garments together that turn ME on, put on some rock star eyeliner, get my daughter to paint some wicked cool designs on my toenails, and I dance to music – this makes me feel like a Master of the Universe. Suddenly, my to-do list from hell doesn’t seem so hellish as I go about my day honouring my responsibilities to myself and my family and have a great time doing it because I am turning myself on as an integrated part of the process.

What turns you on, you beautiful human being? And don’t be afraid to get help if you are struggling to answer this for yourself. You deserve to be plugged into what brings you alive and your world needs you to rock this for yourself, too.

Szos St. Germain is a life coach and lives in the Cowichan Valley with his wife and daughter. Szos coaches individuals, couples, and teams who are ready to challenge their old ways of doing things for the sake of something better.